Worries....

My comment got too long, didn't want to shorten it, so here's the rest;-)

Because you say there are days when you would just like to be like other girls - have it all and feel pretty and popular...I think none them really do. Besides, everyone is unique and special, there is no other dora in this world and people love you the way you are. Don't try to be someone else!!Your happiness, your health, that's what matters!!
And I'm sure this means a lot to other people too. They want you to be healthy, to be better...they just don't always get your perspective so well and sometimes they might just not be able to cope with things...But don't blame this on you!!
You're a lovely person dora, just by being you! And so many people are happy that you are just you. I don't know if you read my post but a few months ago you wrote a list on what you would do/how you would if you really loved and approved of yourself...I recently discovered it and it helped me a lot!!:-) Just reading these sentences again and again makes me feel so much better. That's the way we should be thinking... I think you should read them sometimes too! And so many other posts you wrote gave me courage not to give up:-) You are wonderful dora and deserve to be happy!Don't let anything get into your way, you will get better and better...do the things you want to do and don't get upset over such a stupid thing as clothes...if you have to throw them out that's just right, it's the clothes that have to fit you and not you have to fit the clothes;-)
Cheer up and trust in that quote. Life is all about working on things and make them better. If they were already okay, where would the purpose of life be?

All the best, you're doing great, don't give up and take care of yourself!!:-)
Rose

Hi Dora
Oh yes the clothes thing, a bit tricky! I've now arrived at that place where I've outgrown all my jeans and to be honest, just avoided wearing jeans for most of last year, as was a bit embarrassed about my changing body. I'm now healthier size wise than I have been for very many years and I feel like a teenager all over again. But it's not all bad, I have days or times when I like it , I feel a bit more like a woman, then other times when I get a bit panicky. As with many of you, I worry about where the expanding hips will stop, where will by resting weight lie once I've settled all the behaviours. The over riding thought and feeling is that this is good, this is final, this is progress, and a growng part of me is saying, do I really care about my size. A growing part of me wants life more than being skinny, emaciated, obsessed and miserable, wants connection, enjoyment, passion, all the colours of life, not just black and white.
Like you, there's cost involved and probably some waste, but I've earned the right I reckon, to throw out those rotten miserable condition clothes and buy new ones. So this evening I bought two pairs of jeans after encouraging carework. Both on the rock bottom sale rack but very nice, fit well but not tight, room for a bit more curve and easy move in. I make no apology, I've deprived myself of life for many years, so I can double up for a while until reach freedom, if thats what I need to do. And no, not everyone gets that, there have been comments, but I know. Look at it this way, how much would I have spent on social stuff if I was well, over a month or year, well I'm carrying that forward to now , when I need it. Besides, the very people who comment, you can be sure have their own indulgences, no one is that immune to the commercial world!!
At the end of the day, I remind myself that its the sensitivity at play, holding on to guilt and none of that serves recovery. You have my full permission to shop!! (Recovery shop that is!!)
kiz