What helped me and still is...
I hope you enjoy these poems.
I especially liked - “...we all need to be free”. I do believe we will be.
All the best
Marie
Just Be There
Don’t ask me whats wrong? Don’t ask me why?
Above all don’t despair.
Just stand by me, through good and bad
By this I’ll know you care.
I may not thank you every day, I may not ever at all
But the reflief that I have knowing your there,
Guarantees I cannot fall
I’ll trip up often, as you will too,
At times there will be screams
But someday soon, we’ll stand side by side
And start to live our dreams
My words may be muted, but I speak from the heart
I’m grateful, I’m sorry and I’m scared
My hurtful words are not my truth,
To believe them would be unfair.
Be my parent and Be my protector,
But don’t try to be my saviour
Accompany me along the road
Remember I’m me! I’m not my behaviour.
Have faith, have hope, have un doubted belief,
Drop pride or shame or guilt
Brick by brick we’ll get through this, ,
Between us all a happy home will be built!
Let Go
Know me now just as I am, not as I was before
Remember all the times that passed, thank god they are no more
Don’t try to forget, or even forgive...but let go of how things were
For I was tainted by a demon, engrained within me it would not stir.
Time has passed, and I’ve moved on.....please try to grow with me
For though I was the sufferer, we all need to be free
Hazel
Hi, I am finding it very difficult to navigate thie site this time. Maybe I am missing parts of it. The only way I can understand to make a post is to use a reply option. Is that the case?
Hi friday3,
Sorry to hear that you are finding the new site difficult and thank you very much for taking the time to post this feedback.
There are two ways to create a new post, I have described each of them below.
METHOD 1:
Click the blue button called 'New Topic' on the top right hand corner of the page? This will bring you to a page with some empty text boxes that you can use to submit a new post. There is also a drop down list called forums in which you will need to select an appropriate subject. When you click the 'Save' button, this will start a new topic/post.
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METHOD 2:
The other way to submit a new post is to enter any of the forums on this page
http://www.eatingdisorderselfhelp.com/forum
For example, click on the Nutrition link and then choose the grey 'New Topic' button. On this page you should see some empty boxes that you can use to submit a new post. When you click the 'Save' button, this will start a new topic in the Nutrition forum.
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If you find that there is a specific part of either of these methods that is particularly problematic, please post back here or get in touch through the contact form and I will help you to investigate this further. We should be able to narrow down the source of the problem that you are experiencing.
Thank you again for the feedback. We really find it so useful when people let us know about these problems.
- IM
As a parent I feel I am suffering alomng with th person going through the condition. The condition is very challenging for both the sufferer and the carer. I find one of the aspects that hurts me most is the untruths. Untruth about when, where, and how. I have taken many comments, commitments and promices at face value. Later I found that I had been mistaken. I found that I had to chage my thanking and not accept what was being said without checking. It makes me feel used and hurt. I feel like I am minding a child and I know this is not true.
I can only understand it in the context of self centredness. I can only understand it in the context of a person seeking to protect and mind themselves and forgettting their relations to others.
If this is posted I would like readers to think about their impact of using others to achieve their aims. If readers dont think this happens then it is denial. Life is full of differing ways of seeing the world but there are no untruths unless they are used on purpose. This is what has hurt me. Times when I was told, sometimes in writing, that something was happening. Then I found that the opposite was actually happening. This is very difficult and painful.
That poem is excelent. it has so many real gems in it.
I have picked out the following lines;
Be my parent and Be my protector,
But don’t try to be my saviour
Accompany me along the road
Remember I’m me! I’m not my behaviour.
I am a parent of a person going through the recovery process of an eating disorder. The process is going on for a long time.
As parent I want to be a saviour. I cant avoid that because to be a parent means to be willing to do anything to save a child of theirs. It is a biological urge. One cannot avoid that. It is part of 'Be my parent and Be my protector'. However being a saviour does not mean solving things. To me it means always being threre. It means being willing to go the raod with the person. I realise in my older age that I cannot save (saviour) anyone else. I can only save myself adn not damage anyone else along the way.
Remember I’m me! I’m not my behaviour.
That s true fomr us all. Carers are ony themselves,. they did not ask fomr the condition adn they do not expet to cure the person. But they do expect to be able to live their own lives so that they (the carers) can save themselves. So for suffers please remembers that I, the carere, @am me'. I as a carer 'I’m not my behaviour'. I'm just trying to survive in my own life.
Hello carer,
how great it is to read from a family member, I am still not recovered but very much working on it. I love your post and you're dead right, we do forget , when bogged down in condition, that our family and loved ones are suffering, really suffering bad. I can't imagine the desperation of being an onlooker as your beloved child self destructs and how scary that must be.
Thats really moving to read " I, the carer, am me, not my behaviour, I'm just trying to survive my own life!"
I can forget that my loved ones , even though not in condition, are also only struggling along with their own stuff as best they can. That they have problems of their own. I am quick to judge when they muck up in terms of supporting me and meeting my needs, but am slow to consider their needs and what support they might need. None of this out of malice and true selfishness, but the pre occupied mind of condition. Hang in there, he/she'll get there!! We all will if we tough it out.
kiz
Hi friday,
I find your reply so helpful , i feel as if i am losing my family and friends all over again and was confused why, but i spoke to a friend who i have always been''doing great in recovery or finding it all easy or recovered'' and she said that they all love me but they hate seeing me self destruct and hurt myself. i never really thought about how they notice or hurt but they do they have there own stuff going on and then my ed is also causing them distress and pain..... i think they might react or do things out of distress as i do , thanks for making me realise this. also great to see a parent on this to have both the sufferers experience tryphs and challenges, as well as those who have recovered and those living with those suffering.
This is a beautiful stanza from the poem.
My words may be muted, but I speak from the heart
I’m grateful, I’m sorry and I’m scared
My hurtful words are not my truth,
To believe them would be unfair
it is so insightful, and so deep. How could you say 'I’m grateful, I’m sorry and I’m scared, My hurtful words are not my truth,To believe them would be unfair' in any other way.
Well done.
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