Value Of Thinness?????

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Sun, 15/08/2010 - 14:05
XXXMLXXX
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i have been contempleting writing something on this issue for a few days but didnt know was it insane of me thinkin this. over the last few weeks i have realised or come to the learning that i am at the stage where i dont have the value of thinness anymore.. i know it sounds ridiculous and plesae tell me if it does but it makes it harder because now im realisising that its not about the foodor weight but the control because since realising this it has not got easier but somewhat harder because im startin to question why the hell am i going thru all this torture if i dont value thinness.. for so long i was striving for vsomething but i no longer no what im striving for or even what i want from the ed .. but i suppose now its just routine and habit.. jus wondering did anyone ever go thru this because it sucks because im seeing how complex this ED IS.. dont get me wrong i still have body image issues and have a fear of losing control but i know i defo dont value thiness anymore and wish to be more womanly but doesnt mean i can go and have a burger... then the questions start in my head.. 'if you dont value it anymore why are you still stuck in it ' ... its just so confusing so im tryin to just put all my trust in the marino ... can anyone relate to this????

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Mon, 16/08/2010 - 09:24
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kizzy
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reply to ML

Hi ML
Even though, I do, alot of the time, over value thinness, I do relate to what you're saying. I don't admire the mindless pursuit of thinness, I don't have admiration for those who do , its not a value I want to hold on to, I recognise that it is a distortion, it does not reflect who I really am and what I am really about, the real true me. i do get bogged down in the condition and it may seem like thinness is everything, but its really that my controlling my body gives me a sense of being alright in the world, it reassures me, calms my emotions, or at least has me deluded that it is doing these things.
Really all it does is numb me temporarily and my reality stays the same, I just escape and hide for a bit then have to face it all again.
So even though, I do want to have a slim figure, I think I really want a slim feeling and an acceptance of my body as nature intended it.
kiz

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