trust

tonight we had a group on trust, it really made me think. how much trust plays a vital part in our lifes and while living in the condition we do not trust anything or any one down to things as simple as our bodies natural instincts. we do not trust that we are hungry, trusting that we are tired, etc. then we wonder why we do not trust people. unless they are telling us something negative that the condition will lap up and in bold writing it will ring in our ears and we will strongly believe that their is truth in this, but not the other hundred compliments we may have just not heard or choose to ignore.

while i sat in group i though how far i had come and how much i have learned since starting in marino, i am beginning to trust, i have a strong trust in the fact that i will recover, and i am trusting the process. i look at the people who have recovered, and it gives me inspiration and hope and trust in myself and my abilities to get there. i worry that i will never trust myself that i feel hungry, or trust that when i get emotional that everything will just spiral out of control and i will venture into my little dark hole. but the process is getting easier and i can see little changes so i need to continue to trust that it will happen.

trust is not about believing everything will be OK, that things will not go wrong they will, life is a difficult path a long journey with an ED or without, but we can have trust in ourselves that we can manage anything that is thrown or way, trust in our abilities, in our talents, trust that when people say we are good at something or give us praise that they are telling the truth as otherwise we are calling them liars.

often people are scared to trust people encase they get hurt, but a good friend will not hurt us purposefully and we need to believe this and if someone continues to hurt you and is a negative influence in your life then trust in the fact that we are better off without that person and even if it brings along upset and grieve at the time, it will eventually be a positive thing.

everyday we put trust in simple things like pilots, and train drives, the bus man, traffic lights, people in the bank, we put trust in these people that with our lives, with our money. people we do not know, so why is it we are so scared to trust ourselves we need to ask ourselves why,

we can not be scared to trust ourselves as if we really listen we will have the right answers within ourselves, , we need to trust our opinions voice them and trust that we are as good as person as the next. we can listen to all the advise out there but ultimately we need to trust our own decisions. ;o) leah