Too much??????

Ok so i KNow i want to get better..........i know its wat i want more than anything....it s all i think about all day everyday....wat can i do today to beat this ed??? I know the answer....i know i need to nourish my mind body and soul....i need self care and love.

But how do i go against everything that i have believed in for the past 6 yrs? How do i make myself nourish when my head is screaming im not hungry...its too much...i just had lunch...thats too big a snack....u dont deserve it.....everyone will think your greedy and eating too much!!!!!! the pain never ends.

So i want to try a scone today for my mid afternoon snack...how lovely it would be with jam and a nice cup of tea. But Ed is screaming that thats too big of a snack....ull be so full and greedy...u already had xyz this morning for a snack so u cant have a scone...are u crazy??? and then have dinner a few hours later???????/

So who do i listen to?????? Wat do i do???? Im young and need nouirshment but ED is holding me back.......i dont know if i can do it..!!

Sorry for rambling on...i just had to get it out of my system!! Does anyone else feel like they have to eat too much and cant do it????I try to trust my dietician but it seems too much? I always compare to others and feel so bad if i have to eat while they dont??? My mind never stops!!!!!!!!!!! I need silence!!!!

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