Taking Stock of What is Important
I received some devastating news today. My mum has recently being going for tests to figure out what is going on with her body. She got news last night, and I was told this evening - the prognosis is not good. She has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease. As as former work colleague had this same illness, I am finding it hard to digest fully. There was a part of me that had suspected, but had dismissed it, as had put changes in her speech etc down to her getting older. I am going through a full range of emotions, and I know I will get through this, but equally important is allowing myself to honour these emotions. News like this really does put things into perspective, as to what is important etc. The only thing we have is time - the only uncertainty here is how much time, but despite the fact that we are not close, and I have found that she is the one person, that I find it hard to communicate with, due to various reasons, at the end of the day she is still my mum. I know she loves me, even though she has never been good at articulating that, and I love her.
She is a strong person, but that is her peril as much as it her strength. I am not really sure what I am looking for, but the main aim of this post was to try and clear my head, as it is still a muddle, as I am still processing the news.
In love and light
Mystique
Dear Mystique,
That is not a good news to get this time of the year, thank you for sharing with us. You are so right – news like that put everything into perspective. News like that bring a lot of helplessness within us and it can take a time to accept it.
Just wanted to send many cyber hugs, you are not alone
M
Dear Mystique,
this is very difficult news..I just want to reach out to u and let u know I am thinking of you and holding u and your Mum in my prayers..
Love butterfly xx
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Thank you Marie & Butterfly.
I still feel shell-shocked. So many people have asked if they can do anything. I only wish it were that simple, there is absolutely nothing anyone can do - just knowing they are there is enough. It is amazing how in a space of 5 minutes how my whole world feels as it has turned topsy turvy. I am hoping that I can be strong enough at Christmas when around my mum - I want that, as if she see's me upset then she will be upset that I am upset, and that is not something I would like. Realistically speaking, based on mum's current symptoms this will probably be the last Christmas where she will be able to cook the dinner, and I am hoping that while she still has some mobility, that she will be able to start to learn to accept help from others, as I feel that this is what will make this journey easier for her. I have to say that this is the hardest thing I have had to go through. Our parents are supposed to be invincible, right. These things happen other people and not closer to home. Considering there are only 250 in Ireland with this condition, it is hard to get my head around it. A former work colleague had the condition before, and she deteriorated quite rapidly. How quickly or slowly mum's condition develops is anyone's guess - it is very much a case by case basis.
A lot of the treatment is very much about pain management, and having done some research have some idea on what to expect. I needed to do some research to help get my head around this, but am not overdoing it either, as that would only drive me crazy.
In love and light
Mystique