stressful day

Today started off well. I had a very inspirational care work session this morning which forced me to reconsider numerous condition thoughts. However as the day progressed I got more and more stressed. I had been staying with a friend for a few weeks while I find myself an apartment in Dublin. I have been viewing apartments over the past few days but unfortunately have had no luck yet.

It wasn't until this morning I realized that my friends lease terminates Tuesday and she is leaving the apartment to move back home. Luckily I had viewings arranged for today and monday. The whole situation was magnified as a recipe for disaster by the condition. I became very stressed, panicking which was aided by the fact that a number of estate agents failed to turn up in the first place,turned up late, getting lost etc...The whole situation resulted in I missing the film workshop this afternoon. What a disaster of an afternoon.

I felt guilty. Why did I let the whole situation get out of hand? recovery is to be my number 1 focus, Im such a failure - iv gone backwards in recovery etc. My mind was racing.

Some time later Dad and I stopped for coffee in a beautiful quite restaurant setting. while sitting there admiring the beauty of the trees and gardens I noticed my thoughts began to change, my mind stopped racing etc. I started trying to put things into perspective. There was no point beating myself up about the past, its gone, now I need to move on.

I forced myself to write down a number of positive things that had happened during the day.
1. I had a great care work session
2. I had ensure and made a number of improvements in nourishing my body.
3. I enjoyed a lovely coffee and chat with Dad
4. I took some nice photos

Most importantly despite all the drawbacks I am determined to forget the past and continue to fight the condition.

I apologize for all the negativity but it helped me offload all the stress.

hope everyone is keeping well
majella