overcoming birthday blues

OK so my birthday was a few weeks ago. It was hard. I had a really bad day. Cancelled all plans with my friends (meeting for coffee in town) and no longer wanted to go for my birthday meal.
So my boyfriend came home to find me sprawled on the couch in a black cloud of self hate and misery. Hair like a rat's nest. Tracksuit. Generally looking like I had been dragged through a bush backwards.

He refused to let me wallow on my 'special day'. Up I was dragged and we made a deal to go to a very very casual place for some food. I went. There happened to be someone playing music there. I cheered up enormously.

Ok... so where is the good news part you might ask?

WELLLLLL.... :)

So I felt very negative like everyone hated me (you know the nonsense condition feeds you). So it was suggested I write down on the back of a postcard how many people took the time, even just a few seconds, to wish me a happy birthday. How many people took the time to make me feel special and liked and loved.

So I did :) I have a postcard stuck on my wall that has written all these names of special people in my life. The names are on the back and the pretty picture faces me. People who care about me. People who love me. People who want to see me beat this.

So now I lie in my bed and stare up at the postcard. If I am feeling blue- I think of all the people that love me.

Also when we got home from the food place, my boyfriend turned off the light and had a tiny cake with a candle and sung happy birthday to me. And my heart just filled up with warmth.

And you know what? I ate some cake.

And you know what else?! IT WAS BLOODY DELICIOUS :)

Moral of the story: Even when you feel sad and alone, remember that you are NOT ALONE. You are loved by many people. Things get better. Nothing is as bad as anticipated. A bad day can turn into a good night. Birthdays in condition CAN be good!
And this one is for me: I have the lovliest boyfriend and I'm lucky and appreciate him.