A lunch date wit my self

So this week nothing more could have happened t show me recovery is my enemy and ed my friend the only loyal person swear t god but today after a very bad morning food wise behaviour wise motivation wise and thinking wise hows decided to go out and sit in a cafe face my fear and eat something. Granted im hiding in a corner afraid of been judged and very anxious and nervous afraid of weight gain. But today i found out someone i know online is going to treatment she moaned and more or less allowed herself t stay stuck til she was rescued i dont wanna be like dat yeah im jealous as she has an opportunity i would die for. But while the ppl who cry and scream the loaded and need the most help may appear to me to get it i have t live wit me noone else so why let it get bad again t only hit rock bottom again.

This might not feel like good news to you and to me but i know my nutritionist and therapist and doctor would be very proud so i am posting. Who knows how long ill be here or how the rest of the day will fare out but im here and fighting and thats always good news.