letting someone in.

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Thu, 09/12/2010 - 18:07
HOPEFUL
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Joined: 27/12/2009
Iceberg Positivity: 113
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like a test run i let them in,
before long,
i lost my inability to be
close to some one,
touched,
hugged and kissed.
My inability to feel human,
I lost a small bit of numbness
and began to feel Real,
a sense of happiness
a reason to go on.
What was it that they said, did, done?
or was it none?

after years of pretending i dropped my guard,
I was as much like me,
that i could
that i new,

i opened up like never i had before,
i let them in
Even though i was not sure.
i showed them my pain and
they showed me theirs,
what was more they did not leave,
because it was too sore.

I realised i needed more,
but new that it could not be done unless i closed the door,
to my past behaviors,
my faulty ways to cope.

i could neither move on or continue to exist behaving like this,
so they made me want to learn new coping skills,
to be strong,
to be real,
and to really learn to feel.

so i choose not to shut them out like the past,
and numb myself from everyone and everything,
and i new my old ways of coping would not last.
leah x

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