Jokes and One-Liners
Was having a look at a few jokes today on the internet and thought i'd share a few that i thought were good on iceberg :)
" A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
''My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.''
Oh Penny thanks, we need more humour, sometimes when we are I the condition we forget what a good laugh is.
Found this one, I hope I do not offend any man, but…):
A family went to a hospital, where one of their relatives would be having a brain transplant. One of the relatives asked, "What will the cost of a new brain be?" The doctor replied, "A female brain costs 25,000Euros and a male brain costs 50,000Euros." The men smirked, but one of the females asked, "Why is that, doctor?" "Well," the doctor replied,” the female brain is less because it has been used."
Let’s have a laughing Friday:)
M
Brilliant, I love it, on my list for the Xmas jokes, thats a classic!!!
kiz
Thanks for those Penny and Marie, love them :):):)
Yes, humour – what a strange word when we have ED, but one of the most important ones – lets laugh :):):)
I put one funny photo on this link; hopefully it will bring a smile on your face:)
http://www.eatingdisorderselfhelp.com/nodegalleryimage/believing-santa
And few more:
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally, conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.” The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earring.”
“Don’t make a big deal, it’s only an earring,” he replies sheepishly. His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, “So, how long have you been wearing one?” “Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”
Two molecules are walking down the street; one bumps into the other and says: "Oh, my fault, you okay?”
The Second Molecule says: "No, I'm not ok, I've lost an electron!" So the first molecule says: "Are you sure" the second molecule answers, "I'm positive!"
Name the special part of your body during Christmas?
Answer: mistletoe
Cinderella was a poor football player- Do you know the reason?
She used to run away from the ball.
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A lady went to see a tarot reader woman who'll predict her future:
- Lady, I'm sorry to inform you that your husband will die in the near future.
- Don't tell me things that I already know, tell me if there would be an investigation!!
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.