Hoping for recovery

Dear aa
Thank you for your great post...
I am glad you went to group and you actually enjoy it and find it helpful.
See, I never doubted that. Group is there for everybody and everybody is equally valuable as a member.
Just one thing...read through your post again and you will realise that there is a lot of condition talking there, that is NOT aa, but pure condition voice.
Do you think any of the nearly recovered or fully recovered group members would ever think they were "not good enough, small enough, sick enough,..."
No, certainly not.
It is great you went to group, 3 times, so I want you to look at those three times and be proud of yourself, give yourself credit for the courage you had to come, and remember how much you liked it and felt part of it.

Read back through the second half of your letter and imagine you were another iceberg user... what advice would you give this person?
And also, ask yourself: Is it actually helpful for me to give the condition a public voice, repeating the condition's words again and again in my head?
Or would it not just be better to say STOP, YOU ARE A LIAR!!!! and then use exactly the opposite of what condition is saying, knowing that that is the language of recovery that will bring you nearer to full freedom...

Sure the condition is trying anything and everything to prevent you from recovering. The more pro-aa actions you take the angrier ad louder the condition voice.
But...at least you recognise this now, and YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!!
which you have already started in writing here.
Well done, aa!!!

I'd love if you would rewrite your post and now you give all the rational reasons why going to group is just exactly the right thing to do for you!!! re-write your post, translate it into the language of recovery... do it for yourself, or on iceberg or with your therapist or a careworker...

You will see how that will make you feel much better right away.

Keep it up, dear aa, recovery is there for you.

Love,
xxx Robin xxx

Hi aa

Only just after seeing this post and only wish I'd seen it sooner. Glad you're doing better, but what I have to say may still apply.

For the love of God, don't ever let ED use that particular set of tools against you. I wish I hadn't myself. For years I absolutely refused to go to Marino because I was “not good enough, small enough, sick enough”. I could be in and out of hospital, but the idea of being in a group of people with ED was far far too frightening.

Unfortunately by the time that no amount of distorted vision could hide the fact that I was critically ill (“small enough” having been passed a good while back without ever my noticing it), more and longer term damage had been done.

Nobody in group is judging – most of the time we’re too wrapped up in our own worries, fears and issues to really notice who says (or doesn’t say) what, how they look, what the y do…

Please, for your own sake and that of your beautiful children (and reading your few words about them shows that they really are lucky to have you), keep coming to group.

If you are stuck in the same situation again and need extra motivation to keep driving:
• At group you will get to see recovered people, hear from them, see that there really is life beyond ED
• Every time you defy ED and go, just that act of defiance is a step in the right direction
• The best gift you will ever give your children is a Mam who is happy and healthy in herself. Be a hero for them.
• If nothing else, it will be 90 mins sitting in a cosy room in a comfortable chair. A little bit of a rest that you probably need.