Handbag passion
Just a thought, not sure how many of you have a thing for handbags/shoes/gloves/scarves and other such items, but I'm a real addict ( in a good way)! I recently found myself rekindling that passion, for many years there was denial, I might buy but not allow myself use them, or enjoy them or it would have to be for only v v special occasions. Or else it was total deprivation, don't even loo. In recent weeks I've started to mooch, walk through handbag departments for a peep, whats new, do I like, or not, check the price (ridiculous usually!). Then there's that smell, the lovely new leather smell, and the colour combo's, the metalwork, loops, clasps, stitching and then the feel, oh my God, only an addict will get this!!
Anyway I was chatting with a fellow addict recently and we had an knowing moment, like we knew that feeling, that excitement, that rush of blood. It felt nice.
Best of all it was a condition free moment, no red thoughts, it was me, all me.
Any other passions out there??!!
kiz
Dear Kizzy, love your post. Yes, I belong to this category as well – passion for handbags. Yes, such a wonderful moments when you see a beautiful hand bag – no red thoughts, just excitement…
Even when I recovered I kept this passion (positive addiction ☺☺), I would say I do enjoy it even more. I do feel I deserve it, but often - most of the times I realise that I do not need it, so I just enjoy touching it, seeing it, just enjoying it. Sometime looking at other people’s handbags can give me the same pleasure as if they were mine. As you said, the one thing changed – I use them more, I never wait for that or this special occasion, just enjoy them at that moment. I even love all the different carybags or paper bags. Sound funny, but it feels good.
I think the more we enjoy this little passions, the more free we feel. We often think we need to make some major break through or to get some major breaking points… I think just allowing yourself to enjoy these things could be great way to recovery. So many people feel guilty, calling themselves materialists, thinking they could spend the money elsewhere, but I think that some pleasures in this area could be very helpful – let’s start to enjoy them instead feeling guilty…
As you said the scarves - ohh, they can bring so much pleasure, they can be very reasonable, can be connected with some nice moments or a special person and can give us great feeling of confidence and feeling of feminity. I love pearls as well, I do not need have them, but absolutely love looking at them, very seldom I would pass a shop without at least a glimpse – you feel like the world is your oyster…
Icebergs – time to enjoy the little pleasures and share it with us, we can discover more of them…
M
Hi Kizzy!
What a brilliant post. I can so relate to this post. I too have a passion for handbags, but my real passion is for vintage clothes and jewellery. I love looking for new shops in different cities I visit, in Ireland and abroad. When I enter a vintage store that is hiding in the back of some lane way, away from the hustle and bustle of high street, I just get so excited and turn into and excited child. I love everything about these stores and the clothes, jewellery and history they contain. I love the fact that in many of them there are no sizes, all the focus is on the piece and it's details and how it feel when you put it on, I also like to think, who may have shown this item a good time many adventures before me. Whenever I take a trip I always research where I can find hidden goldmines such as the vintage store,it really makes a holiday for me, and when I was in condition it was what really made me feel free, I was driven by a passion when looking for these stores and when rooting through looking for something I wouldn't find anywhere else.
Janey I can see the shift in my mood already as I write and think about this passion. Thank you Kizzy for bringing it to my attention.
Jacqueline xxx :)
Hi Kizzy, i love this post and think passions are so important! I have a passion for makeup and clothes. I love doing my makeup trying out different looks, expermenting with different colours i could get lost in it for hours! For me a passion is something that instantly lifts your moood, its not an effort because you enjoy it. I also love fashion and mixing and matching different clothes putting together outfits and shopping for them of course! Like Marie said it doesnt mean you always have to buy things just as much window shopping or looking through a magizine of clothes and fashion makes me feel excited and interested. Thanks for bringing up this topic :)
Earlier on in recovery when nottttthhhhhhhhhing could lift the sadness, negativity and lack of love of life from my head and heart I found myself decidely going into Brown Thomas with one intention. I would leave with something wonderful, feeling re-charged and more alive and yet I'd come out empty handed.
I'd wander around the bag section on the ground floor - like going into an art museum, pieces of art, works of beauty - the feel of the top quality leather, the stella McCartney chain shoulder strap, then wander over to the mcqueen skull scarves, through the perfume counters with a quick glance into Chanel and then up the escalator and into the shoe department.
I never ever wanted company. Company would only distract me from this uplifting ritual. It was just me and the art. A few moments to enjoy all of their beauties. I especially loved jimmy choo but now my affection has moved over to the red soled Christian louboutin.
I'd walk out having not spent a penny but feeling so so much better. It was just the art the colour the beauty the quality AND alllllllll the stories behind the goods - tamara Mellon and jimmy choo etc....
I've never bought a bag from BT nor a pair of shoes but I can honestly say that the experience was such an important tool early on in recovery. As everyone said onlllllllly green thoughts and with no effort it's like stepping into a green thought zone only, your thinking was being done for you and it was good thinking, effortless green thinking when usually one green thought in a sea of red thoughts took monumental effort.
Like J and her vintage affair one of my passions now is visiting craft shops: ribbons and buttons and embellishments literally throwing themselves at me as I walk past their shelf. Beautiful beautiful creations. Like J I hunt them down on holidays and find the most amazing of things. I love going out to Cath Kidston in Kildare and getting the colourful fabric for half the price. I become insanely over excited - I think I've broke the bank with four varieties of fabric until the shop assistant tells me I only owe her €19! I feel I've just won the lottery by how happy I feel and it only cost me€19 and yet all the pleasure of cutting, sewing and embellishing the final product has yet to come!
What else do you enjoy in life???
J x
Well I feel like the odd one out!
I couldn't give a hoot about handbags! lol
BUUUUUUT>>>> My love is craft shops. *squeals with delight*
Give me an hour in the Art and Hobby Shop. Give me two hours in Inspiring Ideas and I will be one happy bunny! I just LOVE wandering around imagining all the crafts I could get involved in. All the stands of all the colors of paints. All the accessories, all the box sets. *drools*
I just love it so much. I go in for new blank cards for card making and come away twenty euro poorer and a new craft to try. Currently I'm playing with 'angelina fibres'. Google if you're incredibly bored some day ;)
Maybe I should sew you gals a handbag :P
Ha, I share the same passion as Lala, the odd one out re- handbags...and a love for art and craft supplies...
But that's not the main thing that can ignite my passion... there are quite a few things really...
For example... I can walk into a book store - especially something like The Winding Stair or Hodges Figgis - and can disappear in some sort of time warp... when I come out after a short while, in the outside world hours have gone by.
I also have a thing for tools...like jig saw, drill and that sort of thing...I could spend ages in a Homebase or woodies, hahaha, thinking of the things I'd build...
Yep... passions are something else...
Evening Kizzy:)
I know exactly how you feel. I feel the same about movies. There is nothing like the feeling of going into a dark room setting back and being fully engaged and drawn in by the story. Having a passion for something, be it books films or bags can get you through the darkest day.:)
Hi kizzy,
Just want to say that I too have a real fondness for handbags, shoes, accessories etc and love nothing more than to indulge in a few hours just browsing through stores and admiring all new seasons and last seasons styles and forms! I also love just spending time online scouting through websites especially eBay-so much fun!
But I think for me a lot of it used to be that it was the one angle that could be condition free for me when it came to shopping because it never had to fit a certain way or have a size or number attched to it, if it looked good I could have it the same as anybaody else, I felt normal and not judged if for example a new handbag I had purchased was complemented by a friend or someone I knew! Now though I'm happy to say that I enjoy shopping from all aspects- damaging to the purse strings but its nice to now be able to incorporate my love of handbags, shoes and accessorises to something I may wear to a night out or just because!
This all is really quite important for recovery as it is for sure a big element of self care and we all know how crucial this is, so wherever we feel some sense of passion in life we need to grab hold and indulge, guilt free of course!!!
Thanks for reminding me that I actually have passion for something in life, it's easy to forget sometimes.
Enjoy your weekend,
Tara xxx
my second pro me choice of the day to reply to this :) passions were something along side everything else that i lost to ed. it took a very long time to even be comfortable with the word, or to even want one.but thankfully and it all still feels new and weird to me i have discovered somethings that i do like :)
im not a shopper but i do love accesories, the weirder the better, i love looking in markets or shops for them, however i am aware i still care a lot about what people will say or think. i like getting jewellery or scarfs that are me, my style. for me in condition i used jewellery as a way to label myself, or it had conditon meaning so its nice to now get stuff thats ME....
my second passion came about entirely by accident but thats how the best things in life come about... art. i was NEVER artistic in fact i hated it in school. but... now its something i enjoy doing. i could spend hours just looking in art shops and it has become a sort of life line for me.
on a more slightly negative point i do use things i like to cover up the emptiness inside, that feeling like you just dont belong anywhere or with anyone. i can get lost so easily in a different world if im making or painting something but it is a way to escape a lot of things. even though im happy to have found something i like i really do hope to find myself and find my home within myself....
old post i know but i saw something today that previously would have been shocked at. a man was outside on the malahide road painting all his stuff there painting what he could see. it amazed me. i love to paint or take pictures but worry about people looking yet there he was not a care in the world doing what he obviously loved :) makes me wanna get back to doing what i like again!
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