Food jokes

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Fri, 02/09/2011 - 01:19
cherry
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Joined: 25/12/2009
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Food is such a 'serious' subject for us in the condition so here are some food jokes!!

Knock Knock who's there? Lettuce... Lettuce who? Lettuce in and we'll tell you!

"Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing."

What do cats call mice on skateboards?
A: Meals on Wheel

Why did the man stare at the can of orange juice?
A: Because it said ‘concentrate’.

Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing

What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic?
A: Iceberg.

What did the hungry computer eat?
A: Chips, one byte at a time.

What happens when you tell an egg a joke?
A: It cracks up.

: What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?
A: No thanks, I'm stuffed.

Q: Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?
A: Because it makes you break out!

Q: What happened to the hamburger that missed too much school?
A: He had to stay after school to ketchup.

What is the best thing about a banana?
A: Its appeal!

Q: What did baby corn say to mommy corn?
A: Where's popcorn?

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Fri, 02/09/2011 - 07:58
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marie
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not a food joke, but funny:):):)

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, two months and eight days to live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction and tummy tuck. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well look even nicer. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, an ambulance killed her. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me out of the path of that ambulance?" God replied, "Girl, I didn't recognize you”

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children." The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children." The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"

There is always a solution…:):):)

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