family and the lanzarote experience

i just wanted to share how important it is to have family involved in recovery, family that actually are willing to learn and try. i have just realised that i have a wounderful family i always knew i did but never really felt it or really saw it until lanzarote.i also never really knew how much i lived in my head with condition i have created my own world in my head and now with the help of marino and my parents i want to get out of it. i only realised that i am not only hurting myself but my parents, they actually love me both of them, i realised that they are hurting too, they are scared, frightened, and this is reality. family sessions i hate, i detest them why?because
my condition tells me idont need help as thats a sign of weakness, childish for an adult, im stubborn too proud to accept help from home, im not sick enough, thin enough, i want to be treated normal, i want to be like my brothers and sisters, ill hide in my room and stay away from everyone not to annoy them sio they wont worry, so i wont see there faces and eyes look at me.
me myself i am an adult staying away in my room,and doing all of the above is childish is not been an adult is not normal,it is not fun but having me ma n da in lanzarote was fun i thought id have a week of hell but i had a week of great learning about my parents learning from my parents and did things with them id never imagined, we went on a submarine, went up the mountains on a camel, went swimming with me dad in the sea first time in ten years and not me last. i only did these because i got to spend time with my parents got to know them more and got the encouragement and lingo that we learnt from the family sessions in lanzarote. i have to say it was my third time in lanzarote but my best time most inspiring time,learnt more, experienced life with family and will be my most memorable experience EVER.its also the first time i have not engaged in behaviours since been home from a lanzarote trip as i know i have the support and understanding and we now have the lingo and tools to beat the monster.
thank you mammy and daddy and marino for opening my door to fun and life and i want more of it .
you have three choices give in, give up or give it your all.give it your all :) xx xx xx
Belle