Eating in a restaurant tomorrow and VERY nervous. Help?
I don't know if this is in the right place :S
But it's my birthday tomorrow and I'm being brought out for dinner. And I am so incredibly nervous about it. I am just tied up in knots over it. It's supposed to be a nice thing. But I'm turning it into something else. Because I'm scared.
Anyone have any ideas how to move past these fears and cope on the night? Please?
Thanks, Laura.
Hey Laura,
First and foremost, you are not the first and not the last one that is feeling anxious about this... Condition is quite clever and really tries to destroy every beautiful moment in our lives, it takes things, situations, feelings completely out of proportion, it distorts reality into scary horror movies...the fear that it spreads is growing and magnifying the more you focus on it...
So: Fair play to you for reaching out with the goal to change this!!!
Maybe you can step back and take yourself out of your conditioned imagination for a moment. Ask yourself: How weird is that, being scared of a beautiful restaurant, full of cosy, relaxing atmosphere, nice music, wonderful smells... How distorted is that, being fearful of a plate of food...as if it would jump up from the plate and bite my nose off as soon as I lift my fork...
Taking your fears and looking at them with some logical thinking, and with a pinch of irony and humor, helps to deflate them and putting them into perspective.
Think about it... it's just one evening, it is with lovely people, it is a celebration of LIFE, your life in fact, the life of LAURA, this wonderful unique special human being, unique in this whole wide world...
The food is the least important of the whole celebration. Much more important is the conversation on the table...become curious about everybody around you, they are there because of YOU and your birthday.
Some practical things might help as well:
If you know which restaurant you are going, maybe you could get the menu online and see what they have. Every restaurant has something you can feel comfortable with, and sometimes it helps to avoid the torture of having to choose something from the menu, if you know it in advance you are prepared.
Make sure you are not starving hungry, have your normal breakfast and snacks. When you are hungry or your body is starving, your thinking becomes more unreasonable and distorted. You also tend much more to start craving something and it can trigger a binge.
Start already to visualise yourself feeling warm, comfortable, relaxed and happy tomorrow evening...what you focus on increases, thus, focusing on a relaxed evening will help you settle and go placidly and relaxed through the day.
And be proud: IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY, YEY!!!
Love,
xxx Robin xxx
Hello Lala,
First – your picture is absolutely fantastic, love it
Second – Happy Birthday tomorrow!!!!
Birthdays are celebration of life and when we suffer from ED, of course we are nervous, for many reasons. People often think that they need to come up with some magic suggestions connected with food, I would suggest – tomorrow let’s forget the food and let’s think about Lala, it is only one day and it needs to be ‘Your Day’ – nothing so drastic can happen, the world will not collapse if you do not think about food for one day – the opposite, you will realise that you do deserve FREEDOM.
Tomorrow needs to be celebration of Lala, not condition, so think about Lala and let’s let go everything else.
It is important not to scare yourself, allow yourself to look forward to it, it will be great. When you are in the restaurant – focus on people, not the plates, let’s this be an relationship experience, not a condition’s one.
Sometimes it helps – act recovered – be recovered. If you get anxious, just ask yourself – What would I say to someone else? What would I think when I am recovered?
So, I hope some of these tips could be helpful, I am sure it will be a great day and wishing you all the best
M
Very Happy Birthday to you Lala, only very special people do have a Birthday today, I know a few of them, so you make the best out of today and enjoy being you, it will be a great day:):):)
Regards
Marie
I too want to wish you a wonderful happy birthday, lala...
Your birthday is a celebration of YOU, and this is the most important, and you better get used to it now, because in reality your whole life is a celebration of you, the birthdays are just even more special...
just like you...
Sending you a big warm birthday cyber hug all the way from Donegal...
Love,
xxx Robin xxx
hi
i might be too late have nit had access to internet for few days :( but i had to go for 2 family meals over 2 weekends. it helped to see the menu seriously cut down on the time it took to pick a meal thankfully and to have something planned after i went to the disney store which helped me with certain ed thoughts. if all else fails its one day one meal. happy birthday belated happy birthday :/ xxxx
Iceberg Ads
The Wellbeing FoundationCentral to the Wellbeing Foundation approach is the concept of human sustainability, which focuses on and embraces the unique response each individual makes to life's challenges. www.wellbeingfoundation.com/ |
Jam Art FactoryJam Art Factory is a gallery and design shop which aims to promote up and coming Irish based artists and designers. In keeping with the artistic vibe we will be hosting live acoustic music sessions on Saturday afternoons.www.jamartfactory.com/ |
Iceberg Online
robin and marie - thank you both so much!
everything you said was so right and true. it is like i'm afraid it will jump off the plate and attach itself to my body. but yes. the night is supposed to be a nice thing for me. because people think i'm special. tough concept to grasp ha.
i will try to focus on the people and the atmosphere. i have been to the place before and i got to choose the place so that's good. and i know there will be a happy and relaxed atmosphere.
i'm just nervous that it might throw off the rest of the week and today because i'll be worried about compensating.
but you are right, i can look up the menu. and just factor it into my day.
condtion doesn't want me to enjoy this. but healthy, happy me REALLY wants to enjoy this.
thank you for your help. i am more hopeful. because yes, food is only a small part about the whole day. a very small part.
x thanks