Breaking out for Spring!

Hi there
I just want to share a success, although difficult, I pushed through conditions contraints today and took a further step towards freedom.
I have for some time been locked in by condition re what I can or can't eat at lunchtime, where I can eat, what time and even at one time what brand and what spoon and bowl. Looking back I've chipped away and had achieved wriggle room, bit by bit. When I look back I had even forgotten the spoon thing and the brand thing, yet at the time they seemed impossible. I had tackled one aspect at a time and when one thing went, the next became easier.
Then the courage became stronger and occasionally it would even get to the stage of " what the heck, just go for it!"
So having taken anti-condition lunch alternatives in carework, then at home alone, then at home with family witnessing me, I still felt I was hanging on to something, there was still a sense that condition was holding on to a corner of my achievements each time. I thought about it for some time and realised that what condition needed was a real "boot in the rear", to really nail down my achievement as being real and unshakable and wholly mine. How to do that? Well I remembered a line " if I was recovered what would I do?" so I kept repeating this over the last few days for various circumstances.
Today I was caught short for time at lunchtime and so it was prime opportunity. Usually I would go home and make a safe lunch. Today I asked myself that very question, if you were recovered and stuck for time, couldn't get home, what would you do. Well of course that would be to go to a cafe nearby and have something quick and wholesome. So when the idea came, I started trembling and the debate started, no you cant' you'll regret it later, if I was recovered I would, back in your box, you're getting carried away with yourself, you'll feel bloated for the afternoon , but I want to break free etc etc.
Anyway to cut a long story short, I went to a cafe, had a huge bowl of hot homemade soup, more like a creamy casserole and to crown it two big hunks of brown bread and butter ( condition was like and antichrist !!)
There were two victories here. To self care enough to not race home under time pressure, to go alone to a cafe and treat myself to something nutritious, just to be normal and the bread, well that was the nail in conditions coffin, not happy!!
On a note, I couldn't help but look around and the place was full of others doing just that, not a care in the world, it was just a boring lunch to them, I was sweating, trembling, like a scared rabbit, but I did it, I feel fine since, stomach coped, I coped, in fact I'm hungry for my snack now!
Hope this gives someone courage to step forward into spring. It has taken me time to get here but it does happen if you believe and persevere.
kiz, I mean KIZ