Asking for help ...

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Fri, 27/01/2012 - 19:11
Dory
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lately the one thing that i am learning is that i am only as lonely as my secrets, as the things i keep to myself for whatever reason, shame, difficulty expressing, and not being sure if i want to share it...

but today i let people in, it doesn't make the problem go away, and yeah you still have to go through whatever emotions fears or tears that come up but i didn't feel half as lonely as i have for a long time. i am only as sick or lonely as my secrets. noone is judging me noone is angry at me. people do understand more than i realise. sometimes we just need reminding of conditions lies.

i am very proud of me today for being honest and more importantly asking for help and admitting to myself that sometimes you need to ask for help if things get too overwhelming. if you shut people out they cant help but if you let them in they can help you help yourself.

good things are happening for me now. and its ok to be frightened or unsure. but turning to behaviors to cope with life even good things/uncomfortable feelings or fears is not the answer. that realisation in itself scares me. but now as much as having no condition terrifies me i also really want a future where i am free.
i want to be independent, to be able to trust the decisions i make for me, to decide what i do for myself, to live with no limitations, doubts or restrictions.

I believed for so long that trust in me and strength was wearing a fake smile, going it alone, not crying, not asking for help but that left me lonely and just spiraling back into conditions arms. real strength and trust is being able to ask for help and say your not ok.

There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore.

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Fri, 27/01/2012 - 22:29
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eils
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Well done to you Dora, Be

Well done to you Dora,
Be very, very proud of yourself for a fantastic post - full of real honesty
Your last few lines says it all, you dont have to do this all alone - real strength & trust co-exsits with being able to ask for help.
A friend said to me recently its the strong people who ask for help - whether that be a from a therapist/Marino/friend/family member

I sometimes find it very difficult to admit I require help, I feel that I shouldn't be bothering people/in need of help at this stage in my life but your post has just reminded me of how important it is to ask for help/ or just to talk about a problem rather than letting it overwhelm you & then spiralling to behaviours.

well done you
xx

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Mon, 30/01/2012 - 09:28
#2
Patricia
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Joined: 18/07/2010
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I admire your honesty-Well

I admire your honesty-Well done Dora. It must feel so good to admit to yourself that you can get help when you ask for it. People are always willing to help providing they can .And if they cannot, ask others.There is always going to be people around you available to help because we are surrended by them.So you can never be lonely. It is the condition that makes you be thinking and feeling lonely. Getting you to think you are lonely and nobody can help or understands you is one of many strategies used by the condition.If we could reach you, others can. It is just a matter of choosing who you let in. Can somebody share with Dora the different strategies used by the condition ? some of you have looked into it in order to highlight the destructive impact the condition has on sufferers. Great insight here, well done again.Also replacing the condition with constructive things is perfectly achievable and safe ( Do not hesitate to ask for help to learn how to do it ). Take care, Patricia

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