am i making progress?
Here I am again, confused and all over the shop. Not sure if making progress or not. My behaviours are a bit hit and miss but my awareness and thinking I feel are improving, or maybe not . But how do you know, maybe I'm deluding myself ?.
Today I just wanted behaviours. I thought long and hard about it. Partly it was a "feeling full" issue, but a bigger part of it was a whole heap of anxieties and stress and a bit of anger thrown to the mix. Too much going on at home and work and thus the need for the usual coping strategy. I didn't know what to do to relieve the feeling. But retricting was not going to help. I knew it was the last thing I needed. So I decided, whether right or wrong, to put on my Louise Hay CD and take extra Fortisip, some nuts , dark chocolate and a glass of wine!! And off to bed! At least tomorrow I won't be depleted and even though a bit off my mealplan, the nutrients are still there. Louise makes so much sense " I approve of myself " she says over and over, well this evening I do approve of myself, I'm doing a bit of self care and reaching out. I need more help guys, Iceberg very quiet, please share more stuff!! Whether good or bad. I want to hear about your bad says and your successes!!
Today started and throughout was very hard, challenging and upsetting, but I approve of my ending, I took the best remedial action I could and I think thats ok for now. And oh yeh, I painted my nails and cleaned out my handbag!!
kiz
Hello Kiz, - I am making progress or not ? – challenging question.
Of course you are making progress – look at all the things you did for recovery – it needs more credit. Giving yourself credit will allow you to see the progress clearer – keep it up....
Lee and Ian did put some very relevant lyrics last night – here is the link
http://www.eatingdisorderselfhelp.com/forum/recovery-songs
They are great - they can be use as affirmation, I found them very helpful, would recommend writing some of them down, so simple and so powerful
Have a nice day
M
Im not gonna lie and say it all gets super easy right away. Truth be told it feels worse before it gets better but slowly its starts t get better like today i woke up late for work stressed but as soon as i left i felt the cold breeze and forgot my stress for a second little things change. I tink and maybe this is me but affs like i love myself or approve of myself frustrate the livin daylights out of me. So i start small and just repeat small ones the ed cant argue back t as much like i am ok or i am safe or today i will be ok stick it on your phone write it on your hand or put it on a sticky on your ipod then somethings that i do even though its like stickin needles in my eye is repeat i trust my nutritionist or i CAN do this. I tink of a week and year down the line how will i feel if i quit? And i take every last ounce of strength t keep fightin and hun trust me its so worth it yesterday i got told that two ppl who are very hard t please that they where proud of me not because i gave in but cause i fought when the goin got tough as sh*t. You can get tru any moment. I belive that no matter how much some one makes me angry how much someone hurts me however painful angry hurt i feel i wont let one person defeat me, just like that you have the proof you can do this think about it you are here despite the ed and all it did all the damage the hopelessness you are alive that strength and determination is in you you are livin proof you can handle anything. Remember that your already a survivor. Take that crap ed throws at you and turn it into a challenge. I know wat i want i want to be a care worker right but if i gave up everytime it got too hard or if i missed out on lanzarote cause it got too tough i would be devo. I have felt that sheer hopeless devastion before wen i listened t ed like all my dreams and change at a fresh start slip away its horrible so for me discomfort i no will pass and i will get wat i want. So kiz babes go outside hold your head up high your doin so good hun seriously. Keep it up!
Iceberg Ads
JS Fitness SolutionsHealth and fitness solutions specialising in reversing the bone-degenerating effects of osteoporosis. Certified by the BEST Training Programme, University of Arizona. |
Nirvana Therapy CentrePsychotherapy and counselling practice, with specialist experience in recovery from eating distress and eating disorders. |
Marino Therapy CentreSpecialists in finalising recovery from eating disorders and 1st Irish Member of International Academy of Eating Disorders.www.marinotherapycentre.com |
Iceberg Online
