Fears and Recovery

am i making progress?

Submitted by kizzy on Fri, 27/08/2010 - 22:18

Here I am again, confused and all over the shop. Not sure if making progress or not. My behaviours are a bit hit and miss but my awareness and thinking I feel are improving, or maybe not . But how do you know, maybe I'm deluding myself ?.

meal plan help

Submitted by XXXMLXXX on Sat, 21/08/2010 - 12:04

hey guys , im writing this to reassure myself that bits the right thing but also would love some guidance from anyone who went thru the same thing and nothin bad happened. at the moment im tryin to follow my nutritionist's meal plan.. i know i have to because frankly i have to i dont really have a choice its something that is priority for my recovery right now.. actually i correct myself i do have a choice we always have a choce in ed but im taakin the choice of recovery and really do want it..

Too much??????

Submitted by eva on Wed, 18/08/2010 - 11:55

Ok so i KNow i want to get better..........i know its wat i want more than anything....it s all i think about all day everyday....wat can i do today to beat this ed??? I know the answer....i know i need to nourish my mind body and soul....i need self care and love.

But how do i go against everything that i have believed in for the past 6 yrs? How do i make myself nourish when my head is screaming im not hungry...its too much...i just had lunch...thats too big a snack....u dont deserve it.....everyone will think your greedy and eating too much!!!!!! the pain never ends.

Scared

Submitted by eva on Fri, 30/07/2010 - 10:40

hello lovelies

So today i start a new road on my journey to recovery and life. I was going along well enough...eating new foods and trying to accept my feelings but alas it wasnt enough....my body was not improving but actualy disimproving. I think it was al the stress and worry that was burning all the calories. I thought i was doing well but maybe deep down i knew I could be doing more...i wasnt following my entire meal plan and not pushing myself and challenging ed enough.

scared

Submitted by kizzy on Mon, 26/07/2010 - 19:39

I got really scared this week, really scared. Scared that I wouldn't get better, scared that condition was going to swallow me up. I've been feeling so wretchedly unwell. Yet in the midst of feeling physcially that I could die, I'm still engaging in behaviours. I know I'm showing up for sessions, reading and posting on iceberg, doing my best to take the fortisips and improve my nutrition, torment myself if I'm exercising, yet feel everything is getting much much worse. God this thing is tough.

eggs

Submitted by kizzy on Sun, 25/07/2010 - 22:03

I felt so ill this last 48h, so utterly wretched. Every part of me hurt, weak, dizzy, deeply fatigued, muscles twitching, nauseous. I got really scared, I really thought condition was taking me to a new edge , one that scared me. But what scared me more was that, deep down I know that its not done there, it is determined to bring me further with each round of the block. I've felt really ill before, but this was pretty bad this time. Condition was distorting my thinking, I couldn't think straight, felt muzzy and I really felt unsafe.

challenging a bad day

Submitted by XXXMLXXX on Sun, 25/07/2010 - 17:00

i know the ed does nt want me posting because im sitting here on the bus for the last hour wanting to say something but not knowing what to say .. its kind of like the ed has been sayin dont post .. u dont deserve to but i think deep down i really want to so i apologise for this post not reslly goin anywhere but today i think i have realised how important affirmations are..

Good vs Bad food

Submitted by eva on Sun, 25/07/2010 - 12:34

So things are going really really well for me at the moment. If i just think about how far i ahve come in the past month i get so over whelmed....with all different types of emotions!!! I am getting my taste for life back and finally have that motivation and drive to beat the demon anorexia!!! I am getting angry at the ed and that hasnt happened in well over 6 years. Im only 19 and while i have been suffering for 6 years i know there is so much more life ahead of me to enjoy!!! I want live i chose life!!!

Film about ED - Swept

Submitted by marie on Tue, 20/07/2010 - 10:13

Did you see this film? Sound interesting. Would like to know your opinion, please
The message is to me that we all can learn from one another professionals, sufferers and family members - let’s start now
M

http://www.sweptfilms.com/