Stupid stupid media!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the media I know don’t cause Ed but do help you stay sick, the constant glamorising of thin emaciated bodied, outrage over any healthy weights/gains, encouragement of counting calories and food diaries and swapping food for low calories choices. But what annoys me the most is that while they think the thin bodies is great they never ever report on what truly happens behind closed doors, hours and hours spent counting calories, measuring food, the hours spent bent over a toilet and then lying in bed sore throat tummy and chest and too tired and weak and exhausted and dizzy to do anything, the hours spent exercising, how we cry ourselves to sleep, the self doubt, the self hate, the terrible effect it has on our health, the stabbing stomach pains, worrying heart palpitations, endless doctor or hospital visits, fainting in public places and more worryingly when we are alone, the shocking damage to our bones, the loneliness, the devastating effect on our loved ones., on our social life and the extremely painful, rocky road to recovery and full health both mentally and physically. They don’t document the shame we feel or that anyone can suffer. They ignore the mental anguish and torture and hopelessness. It seems once you are thin and wearing that perfect sized dress it’s all ok. That’s all that matters, that’s what makes you successful how thin you are. I don’t have to read mags to know this because the whole of society live and breathe it. I just wish that the whole world could get a good dose of learning. This is the reality of Ed and this is what I want to go, I want to spend my days more productive, more happily and carefree. Ed is misery, a private hungry hell and depression and I want more from life. I want to be the example that recovery is ok, I want to build my self worth and be an inspiration. xxxCiaraxxx