How am I feeling today?

Just to warn you, there will be no logical sequence to this. Also, some of what I am about to say will be completely contradictory. I am deliberately allowing my train of thought dictate what i put in this post, because that has worked well for me in the past. So, I don't expect one reply. I'm using this facility to help me today. Here it is anyway. I feel:
-a little tired after going for a wee cycle - the wind today literally takes your breath away;
-glad I went for a wee cycle! I love being outside;
-glad I went to group. I felt a sense of solidarity, particularly given the topic we ended up spending a bit of time on: the grip that behaviours can maintain, if we do not push push push toward our goals, and thus render behaviours useless and pointless;
-guilty about spending time typing this post. There are other things I 'should' be doing;
-happy with myself for posting this anyway;
-peaceful in the quiet of my house. I realise I am so lucky to have a safe, relatively quiet home;
-excited, in the back of mind, at the prospect of moving out;
-apprehensive about the summer, becasue that is when I plan to do so, and I am worried about the financial side of it. Should I work for part of the summer or should I take a break, as I have not done in full since I was in school? The fact that this is preying on my mind irritates me. I should be able to shelve it, or deal with it, not ruminate;
-anxious to spend the Easter holidays wisely. To mix relaxation with the work I need to do, and most importantly, to try and bring the language of freedom into everything I do;
-a little bit sad at my own weakness. If I were stronger I wouldn't need to post this list, and I woudn't feel a lot of what's on it in the first place;
-grateful for at least having Iceberg, so that I'm not keeping it all in my head;
-upset at myself for not recovering sooner. I can't believe I still need to use a resource like this. Why not have pushed distorted thinking out of my life sooner?
-like being kinder to myself than I have just been. Questions like that will get me nowhere. I feel like drawing on the wisdom I've had passed onto me and letting myself move on, instead of looking back;
-reassured now. I know I havce the answers within me;
-a little bit proud of myself for coming to that conclusion;
-excited about hearing the wisdom and realisations those who are away on the intensive might return with.

Well I benefitted from that a least. I'm genuinely sorry if you didn't. But maybe you did!
Anyway, one thing that stood out from last night's group was that we can only take care of our own corner. So I'm doing my best her!
All the best to you in taking care of your corner today,
Michelle x