Cunning of Condition

After a very distraught 24h, preceeded by a tough few days, fighting condition with everything I've got, and trying my utmost to make recovery choices throughout my day, it snuck in the back door. Yes thats the cunning of my condition. "no one will know, take a little break from the fight today, sure you'll be back with your therapist tomorrow, take a little day off for yourself, you're exhausted, I'll help you feel better".
So this morning ED had me, lured me into breaking my resolve. Put the blinkers back on me and off I went, sure maybe I'm not that bad after all.

What to do, well an old me would have said, "aw well, whats the point now, you're a hopeless case, couldn't hack it more than a few days, such a coward". Well not any more. That is more condition voice, nailing my coffin for me. Well , so what , I lost a bit of focus this morning, you know what, I was tired, very tired, and thats okay. I can make mistakes, but I won't throw the whole lot away.
I decided at lunchtime, okay what now, what can I do here,maybe you can make a small effort here to re establish the fight , and I did. A very small extra item, just to re establish who's running the show now!

And now this evening, even though a bit disillusioned with myself, I don't feel so hopeless. I won't let the negative ED voice take full flight. I can still fight ED today but maybe not with such energy and intensity and thats good enough for today. I might have more energy tomorrow. Yes that right I'm running the show and condition better take note, I won't be robbed and punished another day if I can help it. s