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A few thoughts on responsibility...

Just a few thoughts on responsibility...
 
One very very very important part of recovery is that we learn to take responsibility, not only for ourselves but also for our actions and the effect our actions have on others. Sharing negativity is something that is just loved by the condition, reading negativity, agreeing to negativity, responding negativity…However, the more you progress in recovery, the more you become aware of your sensitivity, and the more you feel negatively affected by the negativity spread and distributed by others. I know a time in my recovery, very very early on, where I just longed to complain, to talk and talk and talk about the burdens of life and the senseless living I was doing… oh my God, looking back now, and reading back in my diaries now, I get chills down my spine…
Later on in my recovery I really was fighting any negative writing and outburst in public, I realised that my negative outlet was not healthy and conducive to neither my nor others’ recovery, in the contrary, it was incredibly counter-active and actually holding me back, and others too… My own negativity that I wrote on the internet did, in fact, multiply and potentially affect everybody else that read it, worldwide!! Not only was it not helping me, but it could have detrimental effects on others… It is really a huge responsibility when we decide to write something for publication. From the moment I realised this I began to actively change my writing style.
I could off-load plenty of negativity in the one-to-ones, in carework, or in group, where, in the course of the session, it could be balanced out and counteracted with pro-recovery work…
For the internet I kept those moments that helped me to share them with others, those moments when I struggled but found a solution, as small as it might be. I made sure never to end any post without some solution or positive action, so as to show to other people how change is possible. There were in fact also many times where I just didn’t write…rather read and read and read for hours, read all the motivational and positive posts written by others and let them have a ripple-effect on me. This way I was able to bombard the negativity inside my lovely little head with positivity…and it often helped me change my mood and outlook at recovery.
What I want to get at here is…
I LOVE ICEBERG…and I love it for the reason that it is a self-help website that concentrates on solution, on positive out-look, and even when there is something that somebody needs to get of his/her chest, it is not only to be left sitting there, brewing poisonous negativity to infiltrate other minds…
 
I think all of us as contributors to iceberg have to think responsibly when we are writing, recovery doesn’t just happen when we know what we “should” do to heal…it requires action as well and perseverance. I have worked hard to get where I am now, I have also enjoyed the process, but it was at times a very vulnerable process… I know that I have come out the other side and see that I can read and handle anything and everything, because I HAVE THE CHOICE to take on negative ripples from others or not…and I mainly choose  not to… But I know that I was at a stage where I had stopped numbing myself but not yet built up the confidence and self-esteem to cope with negative influences, and, thus, was very susceptible to any negativity coming from the outside…be it from my “mother in law”, my partner, my work, or the internet…at these stages to read a full-blown negative, hopeless, angry outburst without any positive or proactive balancing ending could have easily pulled me back…
 
Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!
 
Love and peace...
xxx Robin xxx