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RECOVERY CAN HAPPEN

Hi there

My name is Paul , and my reason for writing this article today is I can remember a time when I was , worried , anxious , confused , frustrated , or simply didnt know what to think , it was like banging my head against a brick wall somtimes , and the same thought always spun around my head will my wife yvonne recover .

I loved her so much , and ALL I wanted was to see her eat and all would be fine ..... a few weeks and a few good steaks and some spuds and she would be grand , I remember one day I made her a lovely tuna salad , and she cleaned the plate , so next day i went out and bought 4 tins of tuna , !! i was just doing my best , but that day ended up in a big row , over tunna i thought , and i thought she liked it ! i just couldnt get my head around !!!!! women i thought !!!

It was only when Yvonne started her journey of recovery with the wonderful support of the Marino therapy , that i too began a journey .
She had her good days , and on those good days i too was on top of the world , but on the bad days , well thats when i was lost , what do i say , what do i do , ......... i was confused and frustrated .
I remeber one day picking up the phone and asking to have a chat with Marie , after my meeting i felt that a tonne of bricks had been lifted of my shoulders , and what i realised is that Yvonne was on her journey of recovery and working with professional , people who understood , people who had experienced and gone through the same journey as she had , and what I NEEDED to do was support her .

I told her i loved her
I was proud of her
I admired her
I hugged her
I Believed in her
I Believed in recovery

I never told her that i understood and I knew how she felt , well i did once ! and got a vey stern look !!!! so I didnt try that one again!! , because I knew I would never really understand , or I could never feel what she was feeling , so i focused on all the things i could do ,

We would go for walks together ,
we would laugh and chat
I would give her space when she asked for space
When she needed to talk , i would listen , didnt pretend to understand , or didnt try to give her answers , but would listen ...
as she loves to talk ! and i knew with the help and support of the marino she would find the answers for herself.

My wife yvonne has fully recovered from ED . To this day I cannot say I understood , or ever felt what that journey was like , but what i do know is it took patience , time , determination and belief , and I am so proud of her , and I can say that my journey with her was a journey of support and encoragment wherever i could , but the most important thing I showed her and told her I LOVED HER .

I hope this may help somone , recovery CAN happen

Paul

Comments

in reply to Paul

Submitted on February 1st, 2010

I'm all choked up reading your article. I am still in the throws of the very early stages of ED recovery. My husband is suffering desperately and distraught. He tries, but as you well know its hard to know what to do at any given time and to be fair, I don't know what I want him to do to help most of the time.
I think he will take comfort in your thoughts and hope he will read and learn from you.
s