learnings to share with u all from lanzarote

What an incredible wk it has been, full of emotions, full of laughter ahhh i am wrecked!! I am just so so grateful to all the girls, Marie and Clodagh, Yvonne and Milada who made the wk so amazing for me, DID NOT want to come home. The wk was packed with new learnings, new challenges and for me i have learnt a huge, i do feel it may take me a bit of time to let everything settle but i guess what i really learnt was that i want to fully fully recover and i got a sample of that from those that are there and i also got glimpses, big ones of what that is.

As soon as we met in the airport i was nervous, afriad what everyone would think of me, nervous about the wk, sharing a room, certian things/routines i wouldn b doing..but as soon as i got on the plane i was giggling and knew i had made the perfect decision regarding not going to bali and going to lanzarote instead, as i write this i have a warm feeling in my belly, like i have been heard, listened to, like i have been me.

Marie had organised so much, we saw such beauty and i have been to the island many times but i never saw all that i saw this time, we focused on beauty and learnt that this is what recovery is, the more we focus on beauty the more we focus on positivity, on green thoughts. When i go for a walk normally my head is down and im timing it, or looking at the destination, it was totally different here we were taught how to be present, to look around us at tyhe beautiful colours, to use our senses, to listen to our bodies. I learnt that other girls are following the plan too, that its not all lies that Clodagh tells me, i learnt how to trust and to accept that this is the way.

The first day we had a wonderful nutritional workshop and i cried, i think it was the feeling of disconnection i have with my body, the lack of listening, of trusting, but the workshop was about listening, believing and just letting go, it was great and in such a gorgeous setting right buy the sea, with indian head massages and then a 5 min taster of yoga as was too hot!!!

Then we went in pairs of 2's to take photos of beautiful things, i had such fun, with my partner, u know who u are, even seeing a beautiful spanish man to include in our album!! (well Marie didnt specifically say it had to be scenery!!) Each day we saw new things, like fire mountain, the volcanic planes, the caves, the sea, it was all beautiful but what really took me by suprise on this holiday were the people. The group was amazing, we got on like a house on fire, jokes were cracked (u know who u are C) and i had fits of giggles i mean proper belly laughs with the girls, we had nights out but im afraid what goes on tour stays on tour!! It was just eactly what i needed to see what full freedom is, to visualise it, i see the simplicity, the self care, the belief, the hope, the love people have for others and those fully recovered the love and belief they have in themselves.

WE had also a cooking evening where we were split into groups to prepare diff parts of a meal, its was beautiful, so creative and we danced the night away, its times like these i will remember forever, i could be myslef, i learnt about how to communicate, how to be curious about others, how to look around me, but most importantly i haev to be honest i learnt how to slow down, that a lot of the things i do are unneccesary, time fillers, feeling numbers, and my practice now is to let them go, i am having a condition wardrobe clear out on tues as i bought half of lanzarote but instead of keep beating myself up im gonna say these are my new clothes for my new body, they fit are comfy and very pretty clothes!!

The wk for me was just an eye opener, teaching me about the condition, what its about, the negativity, that we all really do have a choice, that we can get bogged down in the poor me and the negativity rather than look around us simply and see the beauty surrounding us, in ourselves and in otehrs, i saw that this wk and i also saw parts of me i liked, i love every single one of the girls for their fun, hard work and beauty and i just hope and pray that u all get to see the beauty that is really all around us every day if we just take our heads out of the sand, the more u look the more u will find, thats what i found, even as we went diving i could see the beauty also underneath the sea.

I conquered a lot of fears this wk and i have to say im v proud of myslef and i intend to keep going, keep fighting, altho i am v confused about a lot of things after the wk i know they'll become clearer, i am happy i am content and i have to go indulge in some self care and nurse my sore head from fun sparkley cocktails last night

coming up...some receipe ideas from the holiday

Love and hope to each of you

Cara x