GOODBYE !

Buenos dias chiqua's !!!!

Just after catching up on all the wonderful posts , they are fab !!!!.........

Over the past while I have shared with you some of the wonderful "hello's" i experienced through recovery , today I would love to share with you a piece from my journal called "Goodbye" this piece i love in particular because it symbolised for me how much i was growing through my recovery , how honest i was becoming .... , how full of awarness , and most of all the courage and determination I had to embrace my journey ...........

"GOODBYE"

Its Thursday night and me and my "FRIEND" .... , well i would like to re-phrase that , i used to think it was my friend! called condition sat down and had a chat ......

Oh.....!!! I had really "good anger" this particular night so i let it have it !!! there was no mincing my words !!!.....

I told Condition that for a number of years it had a very comfortable place in my head , I had listened to all the decisions it made , i did everthing it asked me to do .... but of lately I am very tired and fed up with it , and i have decided enough is enough !!!....

I told it that .....

I have wasted so many years weeks , hours , minutes of my precious life listening to you .....

I dont like the way you make me feel ....

You have stopped me from doing so many things ...

you have stopped me from living my life and enjoying my life ......

you have stopped me form having fun and special times with my daughter , ..... like not tasting the rice krispies buns she made espically for mammy .....OR Strolling along the beach sharing ice-cream together ....

you have stopped me from going out for dinners and romantic nights with my husband ......

Because i was so pre - occupied by you condition , i didnt see all the wonderful things in my life

YOU are destroying my body , this was once my temple , but since i befriended you , you have tried to destroy it

I ended my conversation with condition by saying .....I thought it was nice knowing you , but its already nicer and feels so much better saying "goodbye" ... and in a funny way "thank you " because you have made me realise what a strong determined person i am and what a wonderful life i have .........

GOODBYE CONDITION !

Hope you all have a funfilled day
chat soon
xx yvonnexx