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Understanding Family
I was at a family wedding on Friday. I had a ball! It was so nice to be surrounded by people who love and care for me, and of course it was amazing to realise that I cared for everyone there too. I am really fond of one cousin in particular, S (I wont say her name just in case! Shes 2 years younger than me so I feel like a big sister to her because I have no sisters myself. After talking to her a while, just having a laugh and that, she said she liked my dress. I was delighted even though I felt like a princess anyway that day (Its amazing what skyscraper heels can do) I then told her her dress was gorgeous too, as it was. Then suddenly she came out with 'I dont like it at all. It makes my thighs look so fat but there fat anyway so it makes no difference' This stopped me in my tracks. Those exact thoughts went through my head 2 years ago, and I mean EXACT thoughts. My stomach started churning and I had to stop myself throwing my arms around her to protect her from herself. I was so upset that I had to go into the bathroom for a little cry. How could I let this horrible thing take hold of my little cousin? I couldnt let her go through what I did, I just couldnt. But what could I do? You cant understand how hard it was saying goodbye to her yesterday. I felt as if I was letting her walk in front of a bus or off a cliff. It was only then when I truly understood what my parents are going through. If I feel that strongly for my cousin, imagine what it would feel like if it was your daughter going through ED. I used to think they were overprotective, annoying, nothing-better-to-do-than-fatten-my-troublemaking-daughter parents. I think I understand there perspective now. It dosent solve S's problem and I still feel as if I should do something to make it all better for her. For now though, I have to accept that by healing myself, I will be able to help her when she wants it. Wish me luck
XxXxX A XxXxX
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Comments
A, This is such a lovely
A,
This is such a lovely post, because it really is the epitomy of reality. It's sad about your lil cousin alrite, I've had a very similar experience with one of my very close friends. But at least it serves as an eye-opener, and an insight into what others can feel while we are so consumed.
Also, for me it showed me how far I'd come, That I could identify with someone elses condition, but want no part in facilitiating, or participating in it, while also affording them the compassion and sorrow that I had never given myself.
I'm delighted that you had a ball,well done. Family events really can be so much fun when your open to allowing yourself to interact with people who are close to you.Well done!
And on your closing note....you don't need luck, from the sounds of your post, you're already doin it!!! ;) Yeay, congrats!
See you soon
H X
Hazel
** loving energy sent! **
Hi A,
Glad that you enjoyed the wedding- having all the family together can be a wonderful experience.
This in indeed a tricky area as I used to be like S and my relations used to tell my parents that they think I have an ED. However, I didn't get serious about recovering from my condition until I hit rock bottom and realised how self destructive the condition is. Saying that, the amount of time we "suffer" in the condition can be reduced with the right help. Perhaps suggest that the parents go to the parents course at Marino?
It's important to keep your wits about yourself too. In the group we were talking about "Being the inspiration" as it may not work trying to try and teach people who may not be ready to change. But of course absolutely no harm in gently encouraging your cousin to love her body just the way it is etc.
Best of luck with everything xxx C