Socialising

For some people a party is the easiest most pleasurable thing that their life may encounter; it affords them with the opportunity to totally relax, no pressures or responsibilities, no testing conversations, no need to prove their worth or work, they can just be, they can lather in the world of the small talk and get lost and embrace the obligation free world of the now - for others it's a tad different - for me it was the hardest situation of all.
Parties of any kind, a family function or get together, a college night out, a dinner party or a night out dancing - my worst night mare. It provided the condition with absolute and utter freedom - like receiving the key to the emerald city, it was the perfect breeding ground for the stores of dormant distorted thoughts about myself.
But enough is enough who needs to be reminded of those dreaded feelings of inadequacy and anxiety - let's get on with it.
For me, this was my most challenging circumstance, any form of idle, fun filled socialising, when every action word or thought did not necessarily need a purpose. So what did I do? I observed for a while. I had ceased to resort to destructive behaviours and I was simultaneously acutely aware of my new found self worth all I was missing was the subconscious familiarity of Joyce's enjoyable ways of relating. So I took a back seat and these are my findings, I wrote this as much for my own reminder and consolidation as much for the needs of others with a similar experience.
- It takes a good a hour for people to settle into a social setting - so enjoy the awkward, settling in period, like any athlete enjoy the warm up.
- There are two people in any conversation at least therefore the responsibility of conducting an enjoyable conversation does not lie on your shoulders.
- Condition or no condition everyone experiences some bit of unease at the unknown so accept that you are not alone in your feelings.
- After all the time and effort you have put into your recovery put your affirmations to the test when uncomfortable feelings emerge and give your recovery the chance to prove its self to you.
- Think of all times you've shone before, be it in a conversation with your boyfriend's granny or a banter filled exchange with the bus inspector - let that girl out to play, she does really exist, yes you can do it.
- Remember that nothing lasts forever, in three hours time you will be reunited with your comfort zone.
- Smile
- Take your time
- You are not God, you do not have to be all things to all people
- As much as you enjoy the company of those who sing their own song, so too do others enjoy this in you.
- Although you may have existed your physical environment for a short time this doesn't mean that now miraculously someone else owns you and your life, you may indeed leave whenever you please, you can go look at the stars, you can have a little rest.
- Give yourself credit
Joyce x