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Learning’s from Group
Learning’s from Group:
Last nights group on when I loved myself enough gave me lots to think about this morning and also enabled me to see where I am now and what I need right now. By listening to others I realised that seeing my own worth and what I can bring to the table is important, allowing myself to be me and not judging myself and or what I have chosen to do with my life. Letting go and having fun and not focusing on fears and doubts but just going with the flow and trusting myself and others that things will go ok.
It is important in recovery to do what suits me putting my own needs first and not trying to please everyone else first as I have found this can lead to pent up frustration and resentment. There was a lot of talk about affirmations, something I find I start but give up too easily thinking they are not working. I decided this morning to write one in my phone for different days as a reminder during a particular time during the day when I feel under pressure, sometimes its hard to believe things we cant consciously see are working but its important to believe deep down they are reaching your sub-conscious mind.
For me, self-love and self care go hand in hand. Self-love is more a feeling I have about myself and the want I have to show that to myself in certain ways. I think self-care is then the actual act of doing these things. Self care may be taking a warm bath, burning your favourite oils or incense, listening to nice relaxing music or pumping up the volume and dancing to your favourite music in your room, Self love is giving myself a hug, nourishment, a coffee date, movement, a smile, an affirmation to encourage myself in the morning. It is taking the time to realise recovery is the single most important thing in my life and even the simple act of a collage can bring happiness and a sense of achievement. I have been putting off one for months and today I finally started on a collage of self-love, thank god for the Internet!! It is actually a good way of seeing what catches your eye and what you are drawn to.
Self-love for me is patience, not pushing myself so hard. For so long I thought I had to be loved by everyone so I sought approval from everyone else before I even looked for it from myself. I am going to conquer this ( word to replace need!!), by dressing for myself, choosing who I spend time with what I want from life as at the end of the day it is me living it.
I had a major realization in group last night. I always compare myself – body shape, what I say etc to what everyone else says and looks like in group. Last night I realized that I was listening out for what I want from recovery, from life experiences. When one member talked of her recent holiday, the freedom being just her with no ties to the condition, job, past, I realised this is what it is all about, not the behaviours, not the body, not the amount of time it will take, but the person underneath it all and not just accepting this person but actually loving and as someone said ‘fancying’ the person that you are. We all deserve a bit of love, before you give it out, make sure that you give it to yourself within first.