Finalising Recovery

Finalising is the fun part of recovery! I have been finalising for the past two and a half years, and although this may seem like a long time to some people, I had already come so far by that time that I was finalising that the worst of the condition was already well and truly behind me. For me, finalising was the part of recovery where I was suddenly stronger than the condition. I could control my thinking more and I had more concentration and focus. The condition was no longer weighing me down as much; I had the energy, the experience and the tools to fight it. I had more strength, my life became a lot more balanced and I began to manage stress much better.

When I was first told that I was in the final stages of recovery by my therapist, I had mixed feelings. I hadn’t expected to get there so quickly, so of course I was delighted about that, but at the same time I also felt like I had so much more to learn! Little did I know that finalising wouldn’t mean that I would stop learning; it just meant that I had acquired the tools and the foundations to do more learning and also the tools to experience life more.

Shortly after I began finalising I met my boyfriend. I had never felt capable of having a proper relationship until then; the condition had totally ruled that out for me after all. When eventually I did get into a relationship, I learnt that relationships didn’t need to be so hard! For me meeting my boyfriend was like a breath of fresh air. I was totally surprised at the fact that it just wasn’t that difficult! What’s more, being in a relationship aided my recovery as I learnt to trust another person completely, whilst retaining my own independence.

I would describe the work that one does in the final stages as the ‘nitty-gritty’ work. It is a longer stage for this reason. The challenges that one deals with are possibly more deep-ingrained. As a result they can be better at ‘hiding’ and they can sometimes take a little longer to get out into the open. By constantly bombarding the condition with positive influences, the remaining negative thought patterns were removed much more quickly and easily.

Finalising takes perseverance and patience; but you need to believe that the most challenging part of recovery is already behind you by this stage. It isn’t impossible to finalise; you don’t need to perform a miracle, you just need to keep working bit by bit. The trick is to stay commited; go to group, do carework, attend your one-to-ones. The hard work pays off and there is no greater reward for that than living, feeling and just being.

-M.